As you know, Fakehead brings his love of the game, knowledge of the Iron Hills and relationships with the players and coaches to the table here. Okay, he doesn't have any of that. But the guy is hilarious. Plus, he picked 75% of the games correct in '06.
Here are Fakehead's Picks for Friday Nights' Games:
Chatham at Parsippany Hills, 7
FAKEHEAD: I don't know if you can say it's a preview to the playoffs this early in the season. Par Hills has always been pretty good at hoops, weren't they coached by Mr. Guiliana or something? Those Guiliana kids could play. Regardless, I'm not sure where Chatham is, (the township or the borough), but last summer Chatham had a rat problem, so just out of the gross out factor I'm going with Par Hills.
Hanover Park at Dover, 7
FAKEHEAD: HP, HP, HP! As many of you can tell, like most people who analyze sports, I was not the best athlete in high school. I only played hoops one year out of the three I tried out. My JV squad was f*cking awesome. Me, Figgs (he occassionally comments on this site), some kid called Goldberg, an indian kid who thought he was black, and some other characters. Our coach was probably 103 years old. Nice guy, but old. We were pretty damn bad, but I have to say that I had a good time and everyone liked one another, so it was cool. I have a great basketball story about my brother at HP but I'll save that for later in the season. Oh yeah, I don't know much about HP hoops, or Dover, but I am going to have to go with HP on this one. For one, it always seemed like Dover had raw talent but couldn't get it together to win when I saw them play. Second, HP is going to be decent this year, I have a feeling.
Morris Hills at Parsippany, 7
FAKEHEAD: Honestly, the "Dude" is officially my favorite player in the Iron Hills Conf. The Dude is going to abide by scoring 15 points and grabbing 9 boards in a Morris Hills victory.
Mount Olive at Morris Knolls, 7
FAKEHEAD: I would never say anything bad about Mount Olive, my work is connected to that town and from what I hear it is very nice, especially if you like country music. On a serious note, why do they call it Morris Knolls? Can anyone explain the Knolls part? I understand Hills and Tech and Prep, but Knolls? Maybe I'm dumb but I don't get it. Mount Olive will win because Knolls makes no sense.
Morristown at Seton Hall Prep, 7
FAKEHEAD: Morristown is going to lose, by at least 12 points by the time it is all said and done and the last foul shot swishes through the net. Let's face it, Georgie Bass can't play every position on the court and besides the Chicago Bulls in the 1990s I've never seen a one-man team win consistently. That's not to say Motown is a one-man team, but they can't hang with the Prep's depth. Plus, I know 5 kids who went to Prep (not counting my cousin). One of them had one leg and didn't play hoops. Two of them were too busy chasing girls to focus on sports (or their schoolwork), one of them was like Michael from the American version of the "Office" in the basketball episode, which, if you haven't seen it you should, it is f*cking hilarious. Anyway, the character Michael literally throws the basketball at the basket like a baseball when shooting and it totally bricks off the backboard. It was funny. That guy ended up being my roomate in college (not the fake TV person, the Prep kid) and finally, a tall guy who actually played hoops while at Seton Hall. The dude was a great hoops player throughtout his life but even he didn't play that much for SHP while he was there. That's how good they were, and that is the point of my long ass story. SHP is good at sports, I guess because the kids just focus on sports instead of girls all day. I wish I could just focus on work instead of stupid blogs and women all day, but I digress.
Randolph at West Morris, 7
FAKEHEAD: Randolph will win this game by 7 points. Why? Well, Randolph has the kid with the two arms and two legs who wears a number on his jersey that is pretty damn good. And West Morris is bascially Sussex County, and we all know how feel about Sussex County. "Deliverance" anyone? Kidding!!!!!!!!! Don't get upset West Morris, I'm just busting your b*lls. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding about Randolph in a close one.
Roxbury at East Orange, 7
FAKEHEAD: I'm a big fan of East Orange after hearing the football coach talk to the media after the State Championship game. What does that have to do with hoops? Nothing, but I don't give a crap. East Orange by 18.
Summit at Mendham, 7
FAKEHEAD: Isn't Chris Hanson that guy from "To Catch a Predator?" That f*cking guy is so young! He looks much older on TV. Plus, they let a guy who hasn't graduated high school yet confront kiddie touchers? That's messed up. Assuming Chris Hanson doesn't have to work in Florida at some f*cking mansion luring pedophiles out to set them up, I think Hanson's team will win.
FANTASY CORNER:
There are five people you need to start on Friday Night. First, is Billy Oliver of Chatham. He should be worth 18 points minimum.
Secondly, if you have George Bass on your team, Start 'em. He might not get the high point totals but he should be good for at least 10-14 points but his value comes with steals.
Ashton Gibbs is a no brainer starter. His value as a fantasy player will just go up as the year moves on.
Alot of people are saying Jeff George is a must starter. But I like Justin D. of Morris Hills for his blocking ability and his jump shot.
My fift pick your fantasy team has got to be Jameel Grace of Columbia. I think he could get some major points and get some blocking and steeling points as well.
Fantasy predictions are basically for fun. This site does not condone playing fantasy sports for high schoolers. The fact that I even have to write this makes me sad for our country.
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